Teh Meow Meow Transformation
by AdsilaWolfy
Summary: An accident happens in Vexen's laboratory... Mostly Xigdem. No really bad language. I do not know how to describe it accurately. Chapter 3 is up.
1. Chapter 1

_Teh Meow Meow Transformation_

_By AdsilaWolfy_

_Warning: This contains shonen ai. If you do not like, then click the back button. Ye hath been warned! Thank you and come again._

_I do not own Kingdom Hearts. Only the general plot of this story._

_Note_

_I rewrote this because I put it up before considering ways I could make it better. I believe some of the writing might have been confusing and un-detailed. Also, metaphors and similes are not things I am good at, so I apologize for a lack of them. It just never occurs to me to put them in there._

_Anyway, please enjoy this rewrite. Hopefully it is more detailed and understandable, and may I never have to see that much purple again*. _

_*Corrections to the story were added in a purple [and OMG there was so much!], making my editor's [Sister's] eyes hurt. She is so sweet though. *hugs sister*_

_P.S. We were pissed at our internet company (Is that what you call it?) so we cancelled it. Which is why I haven't added anything in forever._

In the dark and dreary basement of The Castle That Never Was (that also doubled as a freezer for Organization XIII's various meats and TV dinners), Vexen held a beaker of flashing liquid above a Styrofoam box containing a lump of tofu.

"If this is right," the Chilly Academic said quietly, "Then the tofu should turn into a meatball, it's exact opposite." Because tofu is the Nobody of meat.

Unbeknownst to Vexen, a dark portal materialized behind him. An organization member with the hood drawn up crept towards him, slowly and silently (feeling rather like a killer in a horror film) until he was practically breathing down the Academics neck. Being totally absorbed in getting the angle at which the liquid would fall just right, Vexen heard nothing. Then-

"Hi Vexen." the stranger said, slapping him hard on the back.

Vexen screamed slasher-movie-chick style. The beaker slipped from his hand and shattered on the tofu, liquid changing to a noxious steam upon impact. Though it was not the thing to fear.

"You idiot!" Vexen thundered. "Wait, who are you?" He yanked the hood down abruptly to reveal a smiling sitarist. "Demyx!"

"Hi Vexen." Demyx greeted. "What are you doing?"

IV, still quite angry, considered not telling him, but he knew if he refused to say anything Demyx would pester him until he ripped his hair out from exasperation. It was better to just spill it. "If you must know, on the Superiors orders I am trying to create a formula that will change Nobodies into Somebodies. If I can we will have no need to collect hearts. As of yet I have not yielded any positive results, though one time I did manage to turn my hair green for about an hour…In any case, IX, why did you do that to me?"

"I needed to ask you something important." the Nocturne said seriously. Vexen's eyes met Demyx's. He could not find a hint of IX usual idiocy, only determination.

"What?" Vexen asked angrily. What could the slacker have to say that was so important he had to interrupt this precious experiment?

Demyx rubbed his eyes before answering. For some reason they were watering. He asked brightly, "Could I have the pot pie you left in the fridge behind Xaldin's tuna sub?"

Eye twitch. "No Demyx, that's my pot pie!" Vexen screeched, "And-" He stopped and sniffed. "Do you smell something? Like, burning meat?"

The Nocturne sniffed deeply. He followed the scent until his nose was a few centimeters from the now rainbow colored tofu. "It's this weird thing." he told Vexen. Behind Demyx, a miasma of gas and steam were building up in the tofu, making it swell and expand very much like a mutant soufflé. A thin stream of sparkly smoke came up from a hole that had burst open on its side. Vexen watched in horror. He pressed himself against the wall, attempting to put as much distance between himself and the tofu. (This brought back memories of Castle Oblivion when Axel had tried to kill him. Key word being tried. No, Vexen hadn't valiantly fought him off. Roxas happened to wander by and Axel had needed to keep him away from Sora). He began backing toward the exit.

"Demyx…"

IX looked at him briefly. "What?"

"Whatever you do, do. Not. Touch. It." Vexen warned. And of course, that is exactly what the Melodious Nocturne did.

"Whoa, what's this thing doing?" He gave it an experimental poke. It jiggled. "A moment ago it was all soggy." He gave it another, much harder poke.

"No! Don't-!"

When Demyx's finger touched the bubble it popped and sprayed the boy with steam like air being squeezed out of a balloon. He yelped and clutched his face.

"Don't inhale the gas!" Vexen yelled, not seeing it was too late. Covering his mouth and nose with his sleeve, he grabbed the boys arm and raced out of the lab, slamming the door behind them. The Academic let out a shaky breath. He was about to verbally destroy Demyx when he saw IX had pulled his hood back up. And he was crouching on the ground much like an animal, staring at the lab door, seeming completely unaware that Vexen was present. "…Demyx?"

He jumped several feet in the air and twisted around to (Vexen could only suppose since his hood was up) watch him warily.

"Demyx?" Vexen repeated. It probably was not a good idea, but he reached out to IX. The boy shrank back a bit, then leaned forward and sniffed the gloved hand. Vexen got a sinking feeling deep in his gut. Demyx was acting like an ani-

Demyx rubbed his face against the hand and purred.

_A cat._

_Oh dear. _Before he could move Demyx came closer and rubbed against his leg, still purring. "IX, stop that!" He tried to push Demyx away but the cat boy slipped past his arms and continued purring and rubbing against him. Vexen sighed. He needed to know something. Was Demyx just behaving like a cat, or had his body mutated like his mind had? Kneeling down he yanked IX's hood down to see… exactly what he was afraid would be there. Poking partially out of Demyx's mulhawk were dirty blond cat ears. He still had his normal ears, making Vexen wonder which he could hear out of or if he somehow heard out of both. Despite his wonderings Vexen was on the verge of having a panic attack. The only thing keeping it from happening was that this might be a very important scientific discovery. (If he could cut out the animalistic behaviors and keep the features, all of Organization XIII could become part animal. It would be so easy to take over worlds with everyone drooling over the sexy animal people…He would investigate it later).

"Meow." Demyx purred against Vexen's cheek.

"Kingdom Hearts, how will I explain this to everyone, especially Xigbar," Vexen sighed. "He's obsessed with the boy. Then again, he **is** a freaky old man, so this might actually please him… Maybe I should hide you so he doesn't try anything weird." In response Demyx rubbed his cheek against Vexen's.

That was when Xigbar and Xaldin came around the corner, Xigbar blathering on sounding like someone thirty years younger. Xaldin seemed to just barely tolerate the Freeshooter's incessant nattering. At that moment, Demyx decided to lick Vexen's cheek.

"So like, I was totally gonna finish that Neoshadow off when- What the hell Vexen?" Xigbar stared in horror. Xaldin, not caring what they were fighting over, kept walking. No one noticed him leave except Demyx, but he was a cat, so what could he do about it? "I never expected you to hit on Demy."

Embarrassed and angry, Vexen shot up. "I am not II!"

Xigbar walked up to him and, scowling fiercely, poked him in the chest. "Then what did I just see?" he asked accusingly.

"Nothing! There was an accident in the lab (caused by this idiot, of course) and-" as Vexen told his story (exaggerating parts, of course), Demyx-neko got bored from just sitting crouched between the two old men. To relieve his boredom he climbed into Xigbar's arms where he instantly fell asleep.

"Dude, he has cat ears," Xigbar said, to Vexen's exasperation. "How did I not notice that?"

"You're forty and you only have one eye!" Vexen yelled.

"Hey man shut it, you'll wake up my kitty." Xigbar affectionately ran his hand over Demyx-neko's ears. The cat boy purred.

"What does IX see in you?" IV asked.

Scoffing like it was the most obvious thing in the world, Xigbar said, "My killer bod, and I protect him from perverts like Marluxia…and Luxord…and Larxene. She's actually not a pervert, she just likes zapping him." He stopped to laugh. "So, this one time, to get her back I put one of her kunai in my gun and fired it at Saïx's butt. He thought it was her. Her screams were ambrosia to my ears."

Vexen stared. "You realize ambrosia is something you eat, right?" he asked. "And you're not a pervert?"

Ignoring the old bore, the Freeshooter walked away, petting Demyx-neko.

Vexen yelled after them, "That didn't answer my question!" The only answer were Xigbar's fading footsteps. A look of sorrow came over Vexen's face. "No one respects me."

"I wonder why."

Whirling around, IV found himself looking down at Zexion. As usual, he was absorbed in some book. Still reading, Zexion continued, "My guess is: your outraged reactions are hilarious, despite being number four in the organization you're one of the weakest (next to Demyx), of all things your weapon is a shield, you are so frightened of the Superior you let Marluxia take advantage of you at Castle Oblivion in more than one way-"

Vexen cut the younger Nobody off by storming away, but he was so embarrassed he stumbled, which ruined his dramatic exit. Zexion smirked. "And you use more hair care products than Marluxia, Axel, and Roxas combined. I mean, how else could you keep your hair so flat and straight. It's even like that when you sleep." He paused to turn to the next page in his book. "And if you're wondering how I know what you look like when you sleep, Marluxia put pictures of you sleeping up on the Organization's homepage. They are none too flattering."

Now that was a lie. No one used more than those three, especially Axel. "Oh yeah?" Vexen spat. His rage from earlier mixed with his current fury and humiliation and erupted out. "Well your weapon is a stupid book! A book! And you're a shrimp! A shorty! A midget! What do you think of **that **little man?"

That was what made the Cloaked Schemer finally close his book. Holding it under his left arm he raised his right and summoned his Lexicon. Shadows pried themselves from the walls, gliding like ribbons caught by the wind to collect in Zexion's palm. They whirled into a ball, then stretched out to form a square. The shadows evaporated, and a black book was left in the Schemers hand.

Floating eerily above his open palm it flipped to a place somewhere in the middle. Pages flew out, chasing after the Academic (who had finally realized he really ought to start running). They wrapped around his ankles, knocking him to the ground and dragging him toward the enraged short Nobody. He attempted to summon his shield but it was pulled away and dangled just out of his reach. How infuriating. Now Vexen knew how Zexion felt when Xigbar and Xaldin teased him, always holding whatever he needed just out of reach. The last thing Vexen saw before he was dragged into the Lexicon was Zexion's face. His one visible eye was cold as Vexen's book closed with IV's screams echoing off the white walls.

The book lowered so it was floating before its wielder. "Foolish Vexen, you never make fun of small people. We have ways of making our enemies disappear." Zexion said icily. "We have a union. Now, until I release you (because you're way too weak to break out,) you will listen to horrible jokes and lame pick up lines by Larxene and Marluxia respectively." He heard something that might have been a scream, but smelled no one in the immediate area. The Lexicon faded away and Zexion returned to his book. He would have to get a new one soon, for he was nearly finished with the one he held. He smiled at the thought of a new book, a new world to explore, and continued on to the castles library.

"Meow." Demyx-neko informed Xigbar. They were lounging in the garden ( kept by none other than Marluxia. Because who else would take care of it properly? Axel? He would care for it…by burning it to the ground.) Xigbar enjoyed watching Demyx-neko's reactions to everything. Like butterflies. Normal Demyx would have lazed against a tree watching them, maybe reach out if they came too close to see if they would land on his hand (they never did). Demyx-neko chased them, pouncing and jumping until he was tired, then kept going. He had also wriggled out of his cloak, revealing he had a semi-fluffy tail the same color as his hair.

"Meow." Demyx-neko repeated.

"What?" Xigbar took a break from admiring how well Demyx's undercloak clothes fitted.

"Meow."

"What?"

"Meow!"

"…This might be a problem." How could he later on seduce Demyx if he understood his advances less than usual? Xigbar took a minute to think.

Demyx-neko bounced around the garden, sniffing the flowers and drinking in the sunshine. A colorful butterfly danced around his head. He swatted at it. The butterfly fluttered upwards, drawn to the topmost flowers on a blossoming apple tree. Demyx-neko clumsily clawed his way to the top of the tree, determined to catch the pretty bug. As he reached the top his disturbing of the branches scared the butterfly into flight, where it was blown away by a strong wind, then inexplicably struck by lightning, which was odd since it was completely cloudless (for once) for miles. Wonder how that happened…

High up in The Castle That Never Was, the only female member of Organization XIII cackled madly. She turned to her mirror and admired herself. "And that, Larxene, is why **you** are the number one bitch," the insect antennae haired woman proudly told herself. "Now to get some chocolate and torture emo boy."

"That's it!" Xigbar exclaimed. "That's the answer! Why didn't I think of it sooner? It's like, so totally obvious! I have to find someone who speaks cat, and they can translate for Demy!" Feeling pretty dang proud of himself he looked around for Demyx-neko. And saw nothing.

"Aah!" the Freeshooter yelled. "Demyx? Demyx, where are you baby? I am in so much trouble if anything happened to him!" He began to run haphazardly through the garden. "He could get lost, or mauled by Larxene!"

He looked in a bush. "Demyx?"

Nope, just the Nobody of a snail, a slug.

He peeked under a medium sized rock. "Demyx?"

Nope, just four beetles playing poker. Why was Luxord not with them?

"Demyx, where in Kingdom Hearts are you?"

"Meow."

A chain of flowers dropped onto II's head. "Eh?" He looked up to see Demyx-neko waving at him from the top of an absurdly large tree. "Demyx!" He was halfway to the first set of branches when he remembered he could teleport and smacked himself in the face for being such a moron. In an instant he was looking down at Demyx-neko from a portal in the sky. "Demyx!"

The cat boy, who had been mystified when Pirate Man had suddenly disappeared, looked up. "Meow!"

"Oh Demyx!" Xigbar pulled him into an upside down hug, "I thought something terrible had happened to you!" Demyx-neko bit at the flower chain, which had slipped down onto Xigbar's shoulders. "Hey kid… How did you make this if you're a cat? And how did you wave to me?"

Demyx-neko, having the mind of a cat, licked Xigbar's cheek.

Giggle.

The Freeshooter gazed around. "Huh?"

Giggle.

"…I know you're there Marluxia. Show yourself."

Marluxia's pink head popped up. Smiled broadly, he threw a handful of rose petals in the air, then said, "Hey Xigbar. OMG isn't Demyx cute?" He paused to hug the cat boy, who purred delightedly. "Did you notice he's part cat now?"

"Yeah, I noticed," Xigbar scowled. "How could I not?"

"Well, you are forty and you only have one eye."

"Vexen said that exact same thing earlier." The Assassin's face lit up. "Speaking of Vexen, have you seen him? I can't find him anywhere and it's waaaaaaay past the time for me to mess up all his experiments and force him to clean my room."

Xigbar sighed. "The last place I saw Vexen was in the hallway by his lab, but that was a while ago, man."

"If I was going to mess up his experiments don't you think that would be the first place I would look? He wasn't there," Marluxia pouted. "I don't want to clean my own room! The carpet needs to be shampooed, the drapes and my bedspread need to be washed, my sousaphone needs to be polished… I know! Since Axel's away on a mission to Atlantica, I can just force Roxas to clean it! The little boy will do anything I say if I threaten to spill his most secret secrets to everyone!"

"Roxas has a secret?" Xigbar instantly felt stupid for asking. Everyone had secrets. Even Demyx…wait… no he did not. Well, he thought he had a secret, but it is not a secret when everyone knows he was going to form a band with some water clones, a Dusk, and a few dancer Nobodies. (Marluxia had auditioned on his sousaphone, but had been promptly turned away).

"Yep." Marluxia nodded.

"What is it?" He was curious. What kind of secret could Roxas have that Marluxia could hang over his head? …Maybe if he learned it he could make Roxas do stuff for him…

The Graceful Assassin scoffed. "Xigbar, if I tell you, then I won't have anything to blackmail Roxas with, duh." He said condescendingly. "Bye." He disappeared in a flurry of rose petals.

"Meow!" Demyx-neko said, as if saying goodbye. Xigbar would not know; he did not speak cat. So he had to find someone who could.

"It's definitely not Marluxia." the Freeshooter decided. "That leaves ten more Nobodies to question and see if they speak cat. Lets see, who's the most likely candidate…" He got a 'eureka' look on his face. "Zexion! He reads all the time! I bet he can speak cat. Come on Demy, lets go find him." With that, he threw the boy over one shoulder (which was VERY difficult when you were upside down) and teleported away._

IX= Demyx

IV=Vexen

II= Xigbar

A sousaphone is that big tuba that wraps around you. I personally think it would be hilarious if Marluxia of all Nobodies played this instrument.


	2. Chapter 2

Teh Meow Meow Transformation

Chapter 2

I do not own Kingdom Hearts. Only the general plot of this story.

Ting. Ting. The sound echoed throughout the plain room. It was Roxas's room and being the newest Nobody (and therefore the busiest) he had yet to really decorate. It had the metal bed all rooms came with, a metal dresser, a small closet, and a metal desk, but nothing that showed his individuality.

Demyx-neko purred with approval at the delightful gift Pirate Man had given him. It was a gleaming silver bell on a collar with red flames.

"Good thing Roxas stuffed that in the back of his sock drawer instead of throwing it out," Xigbar said, "Now Lexaeus has no reason to maim me so long as I don't lose you again."

Time for a flashback

The hallway to the Grey Room was darkened. A light bulb had gone out and no one felt like changing it. It was not really bothering anything, so why mess with it. It remained like that until Xemnas tripped over a kunai Larxene had (purposefully) dropped. Xemnas had then forced the responsibility upon the first person he saw, who just happened to be Lexaeus, who knew better than to argue with their all knowing and great leader.

In order to change the bulb, Lexaeus had had to run to the market and pick up a new one. (He had been bewildered when he had opened one of the hall closet and not found any. Seems the Dusks stolen them all to throw at pigeons roosting near the garden fountain)

As he clomped down the hall he thought, _Why do I have to do this? Why not Larxene? She controls lightning. One zap and it would be good as new…or would it explode?…At least then she'd be out of the way. _The Silent Hero happily sighed.No Larxene, how jolly the castle would be. He could picture it now. Well, not **right** now. He had to change the bulb, then go out on a mission to Agrabah and finish before Xemnas called the Mid-week meeting (Because it was Wednesday).

"And after all that I have a date with Zexion," Lexaeus said this with a smile. No matter how arduous his day, spending time with the Schemer always perked him up.

Then he tripped. V threw his arms out, catching himself and simultaneously standing. "What the-?" He could just make out a figure curled up in the middle of the hall, softly snoring into the pale plush carpeting. (It used to be tiled. Marluxia had gone crazy redecorating when Xemnas left to test the Keybearer's strength. Much of the Assassin's improvements were changed back but not the carpets.) Why would anyone sleep on the floor when a few meters ahead was the Grey Room and its comfy couches? Lexaeus grew angry. Falling asleep in such a place was just lazy! And if he had not been the alert and muscular Silent Hero he might have broken/sprained/dislocated something. What if it had been someone (physically) weak who had fallen? Like Vexen. He was old as well as weak. One fall and he would break a hip, be confined to his room, and nag the hell out of everyone.

Despite his anger V poked the sleeping Nobody and quietly said, "This is no place to sleep!" Whomever it was merely made an upset sound, yawned, and turned over.

Lexaeus frowned. Only a few people in the castle did not scamper off like a frightened rabbit to do as he said. Suddenly that hair looked familiar… "Demyx, what are you doing? I thought Marluxia had scared you out of sleeping in public places." After the Marly Incident, the boy had not slept for four entire days and once screamed 'not Mr. Sheepy!' when Xaldin served soup for dinner.

"Mew." Demyx-neko said tiredly.

The noise was muffled and to Lexaeus it sounded like 'No'. "Fine, let me change this bulb and I'll carry you back to your room. I don't want Marluxia to ever make you like that again. It was disturbing." The changing took twenty-five seconds exactly. The new bulb shone brightly. Because he was on a tight schedule, instead of walking all the way into the Grey Room to throw a burnt out bulb away he crushed it to a fine dust the lesser Nobodies would take care of the next time they cleaned.

The Silent Hero turned to face Demyx. He noticed the boy was wearing cat ears and sighed. "Demyx, I thought we got rid of your cat obsession when we had that interven…tion." There was not a band on IX's head to secure the ears to, they were just sticking out of his mulhawk. Intrigued, he pulled on one.

"Meow!" Demyx-neko thrashed his head and hissed.

"…Demyx, why are you a cat?"

"Mew!"

"I guess you can't answer me." To his surprise, the cat boy suddenly jumped into his arms and purred. It seemed cat Demyx liked him. Great. What was he supposed to do with a cat Demyx? There was an immense possibility he could get hurt. Or mauled by Larxene. And this was something Xigbar would-

"Lex! Dude you found him!" the aforementioned one eyed man exclaimed. As usual, Xigbar's habit of popping up out of nowhere startled Lexaeus (on the inside of course. The Silent Hero would never show outward fear). Xigbar held out his arms expectantly.

Was he stupid? Why would V give a vulnerable cat Demyx to the pervert twice his age?

"Hurry up dude or I'll punt Zexion across the library!"

Yeah, he was stupid.

Holding Demyx with his left arm Lexaeus picked the Freeshooter up by the front of his cloak.

"D-dude, I was totally j-joking, I swear! I don't even know where Zexion is, which is kind of the problem and why I lost Demyx in the first place. You see-" He clamped his mouth shut when Lexaeus absentmindedly shook him once to quiet him while he thought. II's frightened babbling amused the Hero, but some questions needed to be answered. "First, why is he a cat?"

"Vexen did it," Xigbar said.

"…"

Xigbar scowled. "Dude, do you really think I'm smart enough to mutate someone? As if!"

He was right. II was smart, but not that smart. Lexaeus set Demyx-neko on the floor. Surprisingly, he had been quiet throughout their conversation. He was rather cute when he stayed silent.

"Second, why do you need Zexion?"

II looked annoyed. "Because we need him to translate for Demyx!… Unless you speak cat?"

"No." _I wasn't aware he could understand cats. Is it even true? If so, what else don't I know about him?_

"Then we need Zexy."

Lexaeus knew he was now behind schedule. Saïx would be pissed. But in that quiet 'I will chew up your shoes while you sleep' kind of way. That was Axels Roxas slipper's fate when the redhead skipped a mission to pick up those very shoes from the store. He had to wrap this up quickly. He had Zexion slippers, and those would be the first shoes Saïx would go for.

"I don't know where Zexion is, but try the library first," the Hero looked at Demyx-neko (who seemed mesmerized by something on the wall no one else could see) before continuing, "More importantly, take care of Demyx, Xigbar. If anything happens to him," he pulled the Freeshooter closer for drive his point home. "I will squash you, then lock you in the freezer in Vexen's basement with Larxene." Xigbar looked utterly terrified. Not of Larxene, but of getting squashed.

"W-what do I do if I lose him again?" Xigbar asked timidly.

"Make it so you don't."

"How?"

"I don't know, put a bell on him or something." A portal opened. Lexaeus could see Saïx glaring at him, gold eyes flashing. _If he's angry enough with me to say anything, I can put all the blame on Xigbar._

End Flashback

"Wow, that had to be the longest flashback I've ever fully sat through," Xigbar said, "And all because of this thing." He touched the collar so it jingled. Roxas had been, um… rather infuriated when he unwrapped it during the previous Christmas (he punched his redheaded off and on boyfriend into last week), not knowing Axel had wanted to buy him an actual cat. Wanted. The Superior had cruelly refused his request to get one. Something about Saïx eating the last one and needing to see the vet about a blockage. Axel was not sure, he had stopped listening after he got rejected.

"Their loss is our gain, right kiddo?" Xigbar asked.

Demyx-neko jingled the bell.

"Aww, that's cute. Come on, we gotta find Zexy." Demyx-neko bounded after Pirate Man.

You might be wondering why the pair did not simply teleport to the library. Demyx-neko took teleporting almost as badly as Luxord when he found out his savings had been used to fix Vexen's lab after Marluxia made it explode into true nothingness. The cat boy had hissed and clawed (at Xigbar's face), anything to get away from Swirly Thing.

The kitchen was coming up on the right. Mouth-watering smells permeated the air. Xaldin was making dinner.

_He must have worn Luxord down,_ Xigbar thought, _Thank Kingdom Hearts._ Luxord had refused to give Xaldin money for a few expensive ingredients he needed for some fancy dish. The Whirlwind Lancer went on strike and since then the Organization ate nothing but crappy food made by Dusks. (Except Xemnas, who did not seem to need to eat, and Saïx. Axel theorized the Diviner just ate whatever unlucky animal crossed his path when he hungered)

"How did those Dusks even cook anyway?" the Freeshooter wondered aloud. "They don't have eyes." It would be too easy for them to confuse dish soap for pasta sauce and poison everyone. Since they had not, Vexens paranoid theory of a Dusk uprising was officially busted. "At least we're back to good food, eh Dem?"

No answer. No jingling bell.

Xigbar winced and slowly, so very I-am-so-scared-right-now-I-might-have-a-panic-attack slowly, looked to the right.

No Demyx.

Oh crap.

"Demyx! Baby, where are you now?" NO! Not so soon after Lexaeus threatened him! He was not here to carry out his threat, but still! "Demyx! Wait, now is not the time to panic. I have to think. Where would he go…"

Crash

"Demyx!"

"The kitchen!" Xigbar raced to the source of the yell. Throwing open the door, he found Xaldin's usually pristine kitchen look as though a tornado had blown through. Three Dragoons had Demyx pinned to the wall with their lances. Xaldin himself glared at several large half carved up fish laying on the floor. A bowl that once contained a sauce for the fish was overturned on a Dusks head, and another Dusk poked a knife sticking out of its chest. Ketchup dripped from the ceiling onto the floor, where dented pots and pans were littered all about like fallen soldiers of battle. Every cupboard was agape; every cabinet ruined with the shelves falling out.

"Holy mess, what happened here?" Xigbar asked, instantly regretting it. Xaldins head whipped around and the look he gave him could turn lesser Nobodies to stone. "Eh-heh. Hey Xaldin, what's for dinner?" The Lancer did not answer, but gazed at the disaster before him. "We were going to have trout fillets before cat boy caught the scent and flipped out." he growled. To himself he added, "And it didn't help that I had the Dragoons chase him and scare him. He was fine until then."

"Sounds like it's all your fault then."

_Stupid sensitive pointy ears. _"Fine, it's all my fault, so-"

"Hey, don't you want to know why he's a cat?" Xigbar asked.

Xaldin did not like people interrupting him. If II had not been his superior he would have stabbed him. "Zexion came by earlier-"

"Zexion?" Xaldin just became interesting.

"Yes," III suppressed his hurriedly rising anger. "Zexion came by earlier to make a sandwich and told me so I wouldn't be surprised. I was more surprised he could make a sandwich while never looking up from his book than the mention of Demyx's transformation." _I like Zexion, he's so quiet and respects his superiors._

"Do you know where he went, man? Zexy, I mean." He needed to find the dwarf now before Demyx wandered off again. Maybe he should put him on a leash…

"I don't know. Check the library." Xaldin called the Dragoons off. He picked Demyx-neko up and threw him at Xigbar.

II would have yelled if Demyx-neko had not rubbed his cheek against Xigbar's and purred. Xigbar melted like butter. Xaldin continued. "Go now. You have ten seconds before I go limit break on both your asses." Needless to say, the Freeshooter snapped out of his Demyx-induced daze and booked it out of there. Xaldin surveyed the mess. He snapped his fingers. Several Dragoons and Dusks appeared. "Clean all this up, then come find me." He sighed wearily. "I have shopping to do."

"First Lex, then Xaldin, I think you're bad luck for me kiddo," Xigbar said. Demyx-neko was being held securely in his arms to (hopefully) prevent any further mishaps. "But I really don't care. You're too cute to resent." He petted the cat boys head fondly, scratching behind those extra ears. Though to some it seemed like he only toyed with IX, Xigbar truly loved Demyx. No one else made him feel this way. No one else made him melt with a single look from those green eyes. He would do anything for the kid. (He was lucky Demyx did not know this otherwise he would have Xigbar do all his missions)

They (Xigbar) walked for a while. To be honest, the Freeshooter had no idea where the library was. He had never had to go there before. _If only Demy could talk, he knows where it is _(Because he hides there to get out of missions)._ Then again, if he could talk we wouldn't need to go to the library in the first place. _"Demyx, can you talk again?" he asked wistfully.

"Mew."

"I didn't think so." He wandered aimlessly for another half hour, looking in vain for a 'you are here' sign or a map. Carrying Demyx was getting difficult. He seemed to get heavier and heavier with each step, like he was gradually turning to stone. _I hope this means I'm just out of shape and not a sign of my age._

"I have no idea where I am anymore," II sang out. "I need to find the library!"

"Meow!" Demyx-neko harmonized.

Frantic footsteps pounded the floor. The door directly in front of them opened with a great crash, and none other than the evil bitch Larxene came out, huffing like an angry dragon. "Shut up you stupid fools! We have the Mid-week meeting in fifteen minutes and I am trying to find my mascara!" She shrieked, "I can't look with your distracting caterwauling!" To herself she grumbled, "I can't find it anywhere! Oh, if Marluxia has it again I am going to kill him!"

"I thought he was your gay boyfriend?"

"He is," Larxene said, "But that doesn't mean I can't beat him within an inch of his pathetic life. I think I'll go do that now. I feel like maiming someone."

"Hey Larxene."

"What?" she asked with pure attitude.

She was going to think he was mentally challenged. "Do you speak cat?"

There is was. That 'are you crazy?' look. "Are you finally going senile? Stupid old pervert, of course I can't! Nobodies can't speak cat! Kingdom Hearts, just when I thought you couldn't get any more brain-dead you come here and ask me if of all things I can speak-"

"Don't you like, have a cosmetic to find?" Xigbar was seriously not in the mood to deal with her at this or any moment. He felt Demyx tense. He hated Larxene as much as II did, but was also afraid of her. Xigbar petted IX's ears to calm him.

Larxene, angered at being interrupted, humphed, slammed her door hard enough to knock something in her room off the wall, and walked away. Xigbar considered shooting her right in her bitchy head, but decided not to. What he really wanted was for her to be as far away from him as possible right now. And it would not be right to perform an act of violence in the presence of sweet, innocent Demyx-neko.

Suddenly the Queen of Horrid Evilness whirled around and pointed at them. "Don't you dare go in my room!" She barked, then left for good.

Xigbar exchanged glances with Demyx-neko. The cat boy smiled. "She said it, man." Xigbar grinned evilly. "Now we have to go in." Because it was entirely possible (and likely) that Larxene had her room outfitted to zap intruders, Xigbar set Demyx-neko down and carefully opened the door. When no ear splitting alarm sounded he cautiously stepped entirely into the room.

It was not what he was expecting. It was all yellow and blue: gold carpet, pale blue curtains, pale yellow walls, blue bedspread with lightning bolts (that was cool, but there was no way Xigbar would admit that). This did not look like the room of the evil Larxene.

"I'm disappointed, I expected more weapons and human skulls." the Freeshooter frowned, still moving cautiously. "Or at least a dartboard with a picture of you, me, or Zexion tacked to it." They were the three people Larxene hated the most. Xigbar and Demyx because they made out in public when Larxene could not even get a date, and Zexion because he was just fun to mess with. Even Demyx teased him on occasion (Water plus books equals a very distraught Zexion). Not sharing Pirate Man's paranoia, Demyx-neko pranced in and gazed around. It was very light and pretty and smelled a little like raspberries. He could see a fish tank on a table by the pretty blue bed. He hopped onto the bed to observe them and found that five fish were dead. Xigbar was suddenly by his side.

"Dem? I think those fish represent us." He said quietly. He did not know if the cat boy could understand him, but he had to say it. There were thirteen fish. One silver, one black and gray, one pure black, one pale yellow (and sickly looking), one red-brown, one pale blue (this one was smaller than the others), one the exact blue of Saïx's hair, a flaming red one, a dirty blondish one, one pale blond, a pink one (what fish was even pink?), a yellow one with antennae, and a small gold fish (not to be confused with a goldfish). The black and gray, the dirty blond, the red, the pale blue, and the gold one were floating belly up. Demyx-neko mewed sadly and poked one.

"That… is totally not cool. You don't see us killing fish or anything else resembling her." Xigbar would rather torture the real thing (and he did, whenever she hurt Demyx…or whenever he felt like it). He noticed a piece of paper taped to the fish tank. It said, 'Note to self: Get rid of dead fish, and remember to feed the others so they don't die too.' _I wonder if that's real or if she put that there to deceive anyone who would try to report her to Xemnas for this. _Xigbar came to the conclusion it did not matter. "I still hate her."

Demyx-neko hopped off the bed. Strolling over to the closet door, he was at a loss as to how to open it. He tried batting and chewing at the knob, but neither worked, so he meowed for Pirate Man to open it for him.

"Hey, that must be Larxene's closet." He laughed creepily. "Lets see what she's hiding." He reached for the knob, but found himself hesitating. This was Larxene's closet, what if it was rigged to explode if anyone other than Larxene opened it? He then found that he did not care and if it did explode, he would teleport them safely away, and Larxene would have to explain to Xemnas why her room was a was a gaping soot covered hole. Xigbar opened the door, and was immediately buried under (what seemed to be) ten thousand pounds of yellow and pink yarn.

_Can't breathe! _Xigbar thought. How is it this stuff is so heavy? He gasped and in doing so got a mouthful of the yarn that was going to either choke or crush him if he did not move soon. His ears caught an ecstatic mew. _Of course he would enjoy this. _Xigbar opened a portal to the un-yarned part of Larxene's room. Demyx-neko was on top of the pile, rolling around like an idiot. Xigbar smiled. "Aww," Then he frowned. "But why does she have all this crap?…She must be making something. I can safely guess it's something for Marluxia. This is his favorite shade of pink." Larxene being able to knit was a scary thought. If, when she was knitting, she got angry she could stab someone with a knitting needle. Before he could muse any further a huge ring, much like a giant bell, shook the castle.

"Organization XIII members, report to the Round Room for the Mid-week meeting." Xemnas' voice boomed throughout the castle. "And Marluxia, if you've filled it with roses again I will lock you in a trunk with no water or sunlight for five days." Xigbar swore he heard a girly scream. "That is all."

"Holy crap the meeting!" Xigbar face-palmed. "How am I going to explain you?" he looked at Demyx-neko. He was wrapped up in yarn and playing with a pink ball of it. (II wanted to squeal like a fangirl. Demyx as a cat was the cutest thing he had ever seen!) A thought came to Xigbar, and he felt moronic. "Oh wait, this isn't actually my fault. It's Vexens! I have nothing to fear. Too bad we couldn't find Zexy. Maybe we can catch him after the meeting. Come on Dem." Demyx-neko gave the yarn one last bat before he jumped out and shook himself much like a dog. Xigbar considered leaving the yarn everywhere, just to piss Larxene off, but decided to be nice for once and called up a few Snipers to clean it. "You reap what you sow."

He turned to Demyx-neko. "Sorry kid, but we have to teleport." He felt bad because it scared him so much, but it was the fastest way. Sensing what Pirate Man was about to do, Demyx-neko hissed violently and swiped at the hand reaching for him.

Xigbar had no time to play around now. He picked up a strand of yarn and rolled it into a tiny ball (He hated the texture of yarn. It was soft and yet scratchy at the same time). This he dangled over the cat boys head while opening a portal. Hopefully it would distract him. It worked. Demyx-neko was so focused on the ball he was completely oblivious to the hated Swirly Thing. The Freeshooter dropped the ball. While Demyx-neko played with it Xigbar scooped him up and ran through the portal as quickly as he could.

The portal deposited them on Xigbar's chair in the Round Room with Demyx-neko sitting on his lap and chewing on the stupid yarn. Xigbar surveyed the room. He was the first Nobody to arrive. Wow. All that stalling and fuss and he was first. Now he had to wait for the others. Good thing he had Demyx to entertain him. It was not a long wait though. Not a minute after he turned up Xemnas appeared closely followed by Saïx. After them the other members materialized in clouds of darkness. Except Vexen. For some reason he was absent.

"Now," Xemnas, the Superior of Organization XIII, said so seriously even Marluxia, who had been gossiping to Larxene about something girly, stayed quiet. "Let us begin."


	3. Chapter 3

Teh Meow Meow Transformation

Chapter 3

I do not own Kingdom Hearts. Only the general plot of this story.

Last time:

"Now," Xemnas, the Superior of Organization XIII, said so seriously even Marluxia kept quiet. "Let us begin."

The Round Room was as its name implied, a round room. The tall white thrones made the Nobodies seem small. Amber eyes surveyed the room, stopping on each face. Only a few of them met his gaze (the others weren't paying attention, much to Xemnas's displeasure). Only one Nobody was absent.

"Where the hax is Vexen?" Xemnas asked, not because he liked Vexen (he actually rather disliked the man); it made him look like a bad leader if even one of his subordinates failed to show up for a meeting.

"Uh, hax, Superior?" Marluxia questioned.

Xemnas scowled. "We exist in a Disney based universe, no matter how much we want to, we cannot curse."

Every Nobody, even Saïx looked at the Superior in surprise. Was he serious or messing with them? Or was he seriously messing with them? "Why are you all staring at me?" Okay. He was serious.

Saïx frowned. "Um, sir?"

"What?"

The blue-haired man disappeared and reappeared next to Xemnas. He whispered something that made the Superiors eyes widen. "Really?"

The Diviner nodded.

"Oh…thank you…back to your seat." Xemnas cleared his throat. _Now I look like a fool. Oh Kingdom Hearts will my suffering never end? _"So, does anyone know where Vexen is?"

"The last time I saw him, he was near his lab." Xigbar offered. "But that was soooooo long ago. Like, this morning."

Before Xemnas could say anything Luxord asked. " 'Ey Xigba' why is Demyx sittin' on your lap," Ooh, someone sounds jealous. "And why is he cosplayin'?"

"He's what?" Xemnas asked flatly.

"He is not cosplaying. Vexen mutated him or something." He looked at the cat boy. Demyx-neko licked his face. "And we have decided to make our love public."

"When was it ever private." Saïx muttered, thinking on the numerous times he had passed them passionately making out in the gardens, any hallway, the kitchen, the Grey Room, behind Xemnas's throne in the Round Room, et cetera.

"What was that?" Xigbar asked grouchily.

"Nothing."

"IV mutated IX?" The Superior asked, trying to get someone to listen to him. He was the leader dammit!

"Or somethin'? You don't know how?" Luxord asked.

"I was too distracted to ask how exactly he turned Demyx into a cat, okay? Look at him and see if you can keep concentrating." He made Demyx-neko look at the Gambler of Fate. The cat boy meowed cutely.

"Aww! That is so adorable!" Luxord fawned. "I wanna hold 'im!"

"Back off drunkie." Xigbar hugged the cat boy to him.

"I didn't know we could sit on peoples laps," Axel said, "How long have we been able to do that? Is it a new thing?"

Marluxia crossed his arms and pouted. "Oh, of course something like that would be approved of while my frigid love monkey is missing. Don't you even… Even? That was Vexen's human name. Ahahahaha! How dumb!" he wiped a tear from his eye. "Don't you even care that he's gone?"

"Marluxia, no one gives a rats ass about Vexen." Larxene barked. "He is old, and tired, and crotchety, and more importantly, he's extremely ugly! Didn't you see how they depicted him in the Chain of Memories manga*?"

Marluxia shot up from his sitting position. "How dare you!"

Larxene continued, "He's also the reason we argue so much. You're young and handsome! He's forty at least and so ugly I wouldn't spit in his direction! You could do so much better than him."

"Since when are you my mother Larxene?" he spat.

"So Roxas, why don't you come over here and sit with me?" Axel moved to one side of his throne and patted the space next to him.

Roxas kept his gloomy eyes on his shoes. "No thanks." He had a splitting headache from all the chores he had had to do.Capture hearts, clean the foyer, organize the Organization's homepage, pick up everyone's uniforms from the cleaners, get Vexen's arthritis medication from the pharmacy in Twilight Town were just a few of his near daily chores.

"Would you rather sit on my lap?" Axel asked hopefully. _Say yes, say it!_

"I'd rather stay here."

Xigbar burst out laughing. "Hah. Totally burned dude! Burned?" He laughed harder. "Dude, I am so on today!"

The redhead ground his teeth. "Can it Xigbar!"

"Is this your card?" Luxord held up an eight of diamonds.

Lexaeus squinted. "I can't tell."

Xigbar fought with Axel.

Marluxia argued with Larxene.

Luxord yelled at Lexaeus for (somehow) ruining his trick.

Roxas tried to block everyone out.

Zexion waited patiently.

Xaldin had gone unnoticed this entire time.

Saïx glared at them all.

Xemnas lost his temper. "All of you, shut the hell up!" he roared. Immediately the room fell silent. Marluxia and Larxene sat down, and Luxord put his cards away. "Are you children?"

"Roxas is," Marluxia pointed out.

"Don't remind me," Axel muttered.

"Silence!" Xemnas barked. He expected someone to add 'I kill you!' and ruin the seriousness. No one even moved. "Let's get this straight. Vexen somehow turned Demyx into a sexy cat boy and now he's disappeared. I only say disappeared because no one has seen him since this morning." He met eyes with his subordinates. "Now, about cat Demyx. He seems more active than the normal Demyx, but despite that he must return to his old self. He cannot complete missions like this and will only be a hindrance and a distraction. When any of you do not have any missions, try to find Vexen."

"Yes Superior." the Nobodies said in unison (none of them had any intention of following that order).

Xemnas turned his attention to Xigbar. "II, you are to keep an eye on him, and only an eye."

_Is he like, making fun of me or warning me not to let my hands wander? Probably both. _Xigbar said, "Yes Superior."

"Good. Moving on. Kingdom Hearts is coming along swimmingly. A couple trillion more hearts and it should be completed."

While everyone cheered, Roxas winced. The others could release the hearts, but they just became Heartless again. Only the keyblade could destroy them for good and add them to Kingdom Hearts. _A couple trillion hearts, constant strenuous chores, dangerous working conditions, getting flirted/nearly molested on a daily basis by a redheaded man ten years my senior (not that I don't love Axel); this breaks every child labor law. I don't even get paid. The only munny I get comes from the Heartless I kill._

Xemnas continued. "On a side note, tomorrow is the second Thursday of the month. That means Clean the Castle day for all the lesser Nobodies and Roxas."

_Unfair, unfair, unfair, _Roxas thought._ But I can't do anything because my rank is the lowest._

"Can we move on to the budget?" Luxord inquired.

The Superior pretended to think about it. The budget **was** what he had wanted to discuss next. "Yes X. This month we have accumulated a great profit thanks to Roxas's efforts. Now, if anyone has any suggestion as to what we should spend it on-"

Luxords hand shot up.

Of course. Why was Xemnas not surprised. "Yes X?" _I bet I know what he's going to say._

"We should use the munny to turn one of the unused rooms into a bar." he said seriously.

"Here we go," Larxene growled. "Another one of Luxords pathetic attempts to build a bar. Like we need one, right Marly?"

To her surprise, Marluxia had his eyes closed, fingers crossed and was chanting, "Oh please say yes. Please say yes."

_Why can't they just remain silent? _"X, you bring this up every time we meet and it always gets rejected. Why do you continue to pitch it?" Saïx asked.

"Because," Luxord momentarily stood up, "I will never give up hope!"

Xemnas resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Admirable. Anyone else have any ideas with what we should do with the munny?"

Zexion raised his hand. "I propose we get more books for the library."

"You would suggest that, you little book louse," Larxene said with a frown. God she hated Zexion. He was so puny, so quiet, it drove her crazy.

"You read them all already?" Axel asked incredulously. There were at least two hundred thousand books (not including copies) in the library. He could count on one hand the amount of books he had read.

Zexion looked at him distastefully. "Only four to go."

This Xemnas considered. Zexion was very loyal and always fully finished his missions on time. He also never complained (or at least Xemnas never heard him), which was rare in the Castle. "Compile a list of books you want and we'll see about it."

The Schemer's face visibly lit up. "Thank you Superior."

Xemnas nodded regally. "Anyone else?"

"Me." It was Xaldin.

"Whoa, dude I didn't notice you Xaldin," Xigbar said, "You were so quiet." Demyx-neko mewed in agreement. Ape Guy usually talked a lot about how he needed more money for food since so many Nobodies ate like starving dogs. Cough*LexaeusandDemyx*cough.

"Speak III."

"What we need to do is set up a bribery fund."

"A bribery fund?" Xigbar questioned. "For what?"

Xaldin exploded. "For the police when Luxord gets too rowdy down at the taverns and has to be 'escorted' back to the Castle! I am so sick of paying them off with my own munny!"

"That wouldn't happen if the Castle had its own bar!" Luxord retorted.

"It wouldn't happen if you would stop getting wasted on a nightly basis!" A lance materialized by Xaldin's head. It was pointed dead center at Luxords forehead. "And quit drinking my cooking wine!"

"Then quit leaving it sittin' on the counter looking all drinkable! What do you even cook in wine?"

"Meats!" Xaldin raged. Another lance appeared, this one larger than the other. They moved like chained dogs, bolting forward to attack only to get yanked back by their tether.

From his seat on the highest throne, Xemnas watched his subordinates with a very bored, unamused expression. Why were they all such petty fools? Was he not a good leader? Did he not give them one day off every month? "Saïx?"

"Already on it Master Xemnas." Saïx stood up. He took in a large breath, and roared so loudly and so frighteningly Sephiroth would have run away screaming like a little girl. The Organization jumped to attention. Except Demyx-neko, who freaked out at the sound and climbed, in complete hysterics, to the top of Xigbar's throne. Xaldin's lances vanished. More alarmed than anything, he and Luxord looked up at Xemnas, who was leaning on one hand, drumming his fingers on the arm of the throne with the other. "Finished?" he drawled. The two Nobodies nodded at their leader, but gave each other a subtle glare.

As long as they shut up now Xemnas did not care if they killed each other later. "Good. Saïx, why don't you read from the anonymous complaints box next."

The Diviner bowed his head. "Yes Master Xemnas."

Xigbar scoffed. "Superior's pet." he whispered. He looked up at his cat boy. His ears were drawn back, and his tail was fluffed up, but he seemed to be calming down. "Here kitty, kitty."

Documents materialized in Saïx's hands. Earlier he had taken all the scraps of paper from the complaints box and written them all down on unused paper so they would be neat and readable. The only drawback was the paper had a picture of little ducks walking along the bottom. Saïx hated ducks. "Xigbar, this first one involves you."

Said man winced. _Crap, did he hear me call him Superior's pe-_oof_! _Demyx-neko had crawled halfway down the throne, then jumped and landed hard on Xigbar's lap.

"I really want Xigbar to stop teleporting into the bathroom during my relaxation baths. It's called 'Me Time' for a reason…" Saïx looked…pissed off. This was not the sort of thing he had made the boxes for.

"I wonder who wrote that one?" the Freeshooter asked sarcastically, looking at a certain pink-haired girly man out of the corner of his only eye. "As if I don't know."

Saïx read from another paper. "Xaldin, can you bake me a cake on the twenty-third? It is close to my non birthday…or is it unbirthday?" Saïx frowned and quickly read through the rest of the papers. "These are all suggestions. We have two boxes for a reason. One for complaints no one will ever care about or heed, and one for suggestions we cannot promise to bring about. Take care in the future to place the correct papers in the correct boxes." At this point the Diviner was trying very hard not to go Berserker. He clearly labeled the boxes and no one paid enough attention to even read them! _Calm down Saïx. It's not their fault they are all morons. _"Moving on to suggestions." _In all likelihood, the complaints will be in here. _"…Marluxia, there is no way in hell we are going to put on a company play. One, we are not a company. Two, we are (supposed to be) an evil organization."

"Oh, come on. Why not?" The Assassin said, "Approve of something I think of! It would be fun! Just think about it, we could put on a great classic! Like Macbeth, Phantom of the Opera, Oklahoma-"

"No Oklahoma!" Xemnas spat. All eyes fell on him, surprised. "It took forever to get that song about a surrey*, whatever that is, out of my head the last time you made us watch that film on Movie Night."

"Hey Marluxia, if we put on Romeo and Juliet, who would you be?" Xigbar taunted.

"Romeo of course," He said with pride. "In case you were wondering, Vexy would be Juliet."

_I was wondering who was what. _Axel thought. _Despite his pink hair Marluxia doesn't seem the uke type. Speaking of uke… _He cast a glance over at Roxas. He still looked miserable. _Aww, poor Roxy. What could be wrong with him?_

_My head is going to freaking explode, _Roxas thought-whined_, I swear on Sora's life it's going to explode. Hurry up and end already!_

"Lexaeus?" The Silent Hero looked for who had spoken to him. He found Zexion looking back at him. How perfect he looked. The light from the seemingly nonexistent light source made his soft pale skin glow. His one visible eye was so blue. And those lips…meow. "Do you happen to know the time?" Zexion asked, pulling Lexaeus out of his stupor.

"It's five minutes past six."

"Can we wrap this up? I have to put the finishing touches on dinner." Xaldin said Xemnas.

"I thought Demyx ruined dinner?" Xigbar asked. Did Xaldin get Luxord to rewind time to stop Demyx from ruining the dinner, then fast forward to the present? It was not likely; the use of Luxords ability was vastly noticeable.

Scowling, Xaldin said, "He did, I bought fried chicken to replace it."

"Does anyone wish to say anything else?" Not waiting for an answer, Xemnas said, "No? Until next time then." The Superior began to fade away. "Let's go Saïx."

"Yes Master Xemnas."

When the first and second in command were gone Larxene asked, "What were we having for dinner originally?"

"Trout fillets, but cat boy over there smelled the fish, went crazy, and destroyed my kitchen, so I had to get something quick so dinner would be on time."

The Savage Nymph sent a glare Demyx-nekos way that made him flinch. "I knew there was a reason I hated cats."

Xigbar summoned an arrow gun. "Back off, bug bitch."

"Bug bitch?"

"Your hair resembles insect antennae," Luxord explained mockingly.

Larxene grit her teeth. "Watch your back old man," she warned, "Yours and his," Xigbar knew she meant Demyx-neko. "Because when you least expect it, I'll-"

"Get you my little pretty, and your little bishie cat boy too!" Marluxia butted in. Larxene stared at him, flabbergasted. "What? It seemed appropriate."

Maximum fury. "Marluxia, you ruined my threat!" She screamed, "I love you but I hate you so much right now! How the hell am I supposed to terrify people if you say things like that? Kingdom Hearts!" She faded away, the shadows sparking like lightning.

To everyone's astonishment Zexion began laughing. It was an alien sound. When he realized he was the center of attention, he quickly stopped. With all that hair covering his face one could not tell if he was blushing. Since he was there and not doing anything, Xigbar took the opportunity to ask Zexion the all important question. "Hey Zexy, you've read a lot of books, right?"

"No, I just wanted more books so I could let you use them for target practice." He usually would say nothing, or quietly agree, but he had said in the meeting he had read all but four books in the library.

Xigbar held up a hand. "Dude, there's no need to be harsh."

Zexion crossed his arms. "What do you want?"

"Can you speak cat?" the Freeshooter asked.

For a moment the Cloaked Schemer was silent, then, "No, I cannot."

Xigbar heard something break. It was his hopes. "Why did you think I could?"

"Cause you read so much."

"One can read millions of books and still be an idiot." Zexion said sagely.

Opening a portal to Luxord, Xigbar whispered through it, "Is he talking about me?"

" 'Ave you read millions of books?" He used this moment to pet Demyx-neko's ears. IX sighed and leaned closer. Frowning, Xigbar pulled him away.

"No."

"Then I guess not. Want to play a game? Winner gets Demyx."

Xigbar was appalled. "As if! Use your common sense, why would I play a game with Demyx on the line?"

Axel jumped over to Roxas's chair. The Key of Destiny was holding his face in his hands. Despite it being more quiet his headache felt worse, or at least more noticeable now that he was not distracted by the Organizations discordant interactions.

"Roxas?"

Said boy looked up slowly, not wanting to make the ache worse by sudden movement. Axel was watching him with concern. "What Axel?"

Axel knew better than to ask if he was okay. For one, Roxas was clearly in pain. For two, the little keybearer would berate him later for asking a question for which the answer was unmistakably evident. He settled on saying, "You're hurt Roxy, let's get you back to your room." There. A safe, non-stupid comment. He had indicated that he knew there was a problem and wanted to help.

With those astonishingly blue eyes fixed on him Roxas asked, "Will you carry me? I feel like I'm gonna black out." Safe comments yield amazing results.

This question pleased Axel. "Why of course Roxas." He said with the air of a gentleman. "Nothing would make me happier than to assist you in your time of need. Now, do you want me to carry you piggyback or bridal style?" _Why did that sound dirty? Oh please don't let Roxas take it as something dirty._

"I don't care, just get me out of here." He said irritably.

"As you wish," Axel said. _Whoo-hoo! I'm safe!_

Luxord smirked. "Because you can't stand to lose to me, Xigba'."

"Because you gloat nonstop if you win and you just quit when you start to lose!" Xigbar raved.

"A good gambler knows when to stop." Luxord said knowingly.

"Dude, I really hate you."

"Because I'm so suave?" the Gambler asked smugly.

Xigbar pushed Demyx-neko off him and stood up. He summoned his arrowguns. "You are begging to be shot."

Luxord mimicked his rival. "And you are begging for a wicked paper cut." His cards materialized.

"A paper cut? Really Luxord? I swear, your weapon is even lamer than-" Something whizzed by Xigbars ear. He turned slowly to look at it. A card was imbedded in the throne. He faced his opponent, who smirked at him. "You really want to fight, don't you?"

"Yes," Luxord's eyes shone with cold determination. "That innocent boy should be with me, not some old pedo."

"Lux? He's eighteen." Xigbar pointed out. "And even if he weren't, you're twenty-four. You would be a pedo too."

"I am well aware of that." Luxord said confidently. "But it's better than him being with someone **more** than twice his age. Besides, I'm more handsome. In manga and anime, that's all it takes for a pedo relationship to be okay."

"But we exist in a video game, and you would still be a pedo." Xigbar refused to let it go. "How could you, a 'gentleman'," He made air quotes. "Live with yourself, having that title hanging over your head?"

"It doesn't matter as long as I have him." The Gambler of Fate prepared to attack. "So, will you bet him, or will we 'ave to fight?"

Xigbar sighed and wondered why everyone in the Organization (himself included) went crazy whenever Demyx was involved.

Thank you all who reviewed for me! It made me so happy! ^_^ Please continue to review. I shall update as soon as I can.

To all who wondered what Saïx told Xemnas, he confessed his love. (Just kidding, he said they were in a fanfiction)

*Oh my Gods, when I saw the Chain of Memories manga on

Youtube, I was so shocked! I knew Vexen was sort of ugly (I still love him though!), but in the COM manga he was… he was…hideous! Repulsive! I showed my sister and she nearly shrieked!

*The Surrey with The Fringe On Top is a song from the musical Oklahoma, which I like.


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